4 Things I’d Tell Myself if I Planned My Own Wedding Again
As soon as I got engaged, I launched into the thick of wedding planning. Every “Say Yes to the Dress” episode and movie with a wedding in it was dancing through my mind. News flash: the real deal is not like what you see on TV! Very quickly I realized I had a lot to learn and many decisions to navigate in only eight months until our wedding day. I learned some valuable lessons, and I’m here to share them with you!
Alignment is Key
Feeling and being aligned with your plan, design, venue, and vendors is incredibly important. This seems simple, but it makes such a difference in seeing the actual wedding day come to life.
To be aligned when planning your wedding is to know that every piece (big and small) resonates with the core of who you are, what you believe, and what brings you joy. If at any point in the process, something doesn’t feel true to you, trust your gut and try a different direction! Ask yourself this question when making decisions: “How does this [vendor, color, flower, napkin, etc] make me feel?”. If the answer is “uneasy” or “meh”, then that option probably doesn’t align with you.
Focus on What Brings You Joy, Not on Trends
Instagram and Pinterest can be wonderful tools, but it’s easy to get lost in the newest trends and sucked into comparison of what others are doing. Something I like to remind myself: Instagram is everyone’s highlight reel. That goes for the wedding industry as well! The pictures you see are often-times the best-of-the-best. Maybe that perfect tablescape was a reflection of what brought someone else joy, but no two people are alike, so I’m guessing your tablescape will look a little different. That is more than okay…that’s actually a great thing!
Trends are helpful to provide inspiration and show us what’s possible on a wedding day, but trends are incredibly fleeting. The colors of last year are not the colors of this year, the newest dress-style today will fade into the newest dress-styles of next year. Making design decisions based on trends might not result in a wedding that feels uniquely you. Instead of making decisions based on the trends you’re seeing, make decisions based on what brings you joy! What’s your all-time favorite color? How can that be incorporated? What’s your favorite food? Favorite hobby? What does your perfect day look like? Your go-to cocktail? Favorite time-of-day? Favorite movie? Favorite memory? Choosing to incorporate the things that bring you joy will lend itself to a wedding day that withstands the test of time, because you’ll remember how you felt.
There’s No Rush, and There’s No Pressure
Depending on your planning window, you might be feeling some kind of rush to find a venue, make decisions, and book vendors. Let me be the first to tell you that rushing is never helpful! It’s easy to feel pressure to book vendors so they don’t get booked first, or jam pack every venue tour into one weekend because you’re so excited to get the process moving. I did both of these things!
Decisions are best made when you’ve had sleep, discussed with your significant other, and maybe even looped in a few friends over a good happy hour cocktail. There are more than enough vendors who are available on your wedding date, match your style, and align with your budget to go around. Take a deep breath, remember to take time to do what brings you joy, and surround yourself with the people you love. The pressure is absolutely off!
People are the Most Important
Don’t get me wrong, the wedding day details are important (I looooove the details), but the most important part of your wedding day is going to be the people you are surrounded by. Firstly, your wonderful significant other – the most important! But following that, your wedding party, family, relatives, friends…and don’t forget vendors too! As important as it is to choose your colors, it’s equally as important to carefully choose those you will be surrounded by on wedding day. Why? Because you want to be feeling your absolute best and surround yourself with those who make you feel that way.
There’s always the relative that we have no control over, or the acquaintance your parents wanted to invite who you haven’t seen in ten years. However, you do have control over who is in your wedding party and who you see during the day leading up to your ceremony. Do you have an aunt who you love, but are not sure how to see her with the full wedding day schedule? Ask her to join you and your bridesmaids for lunch! Thinking about how you’ll pack up all your stuff before the ceremony begins? Pass that off to a trusted bridesmaid. The people you invite in are there to support, celebrate, and uplift. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
The same goes for your vendors. Get to know your vendors before the wedding-day! They’ll be the ones up close on wedding day making sure your makeup looks good, photos are perfect, and things are running smoothly. It’s very important that you connect with them and enjoy being with them. It will make all the difference!
There is much more I could say, but I’ll save that for another time While planning my own wedding, I learned so much about myself and about the process! At the end of the day, you get married and get to do life with your significant other and that’s the most special part of it all. But I hope that these little tidbits I learned are helpful to you as you journey towards your wedding day!
